


The Boy in the Cupboard

by happy_little_trees3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cannon Typical Violence, F/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Severus Snape is an asshole tm, Sometimes I look at you and I still see the boy in the cupboard., but damn ok just say that then, but fuck cannon, cannon deaths, don't name ur kids after him folks, fandom snape can usually find a redemption, hes kind of a creep in cannon and i stand by that, in cannon, is a legitimate quote from the movie apparently, it did not show up in the book, no beta we die like cedric, the awnser here is yes, we awnser the question of "did dumbledore know harry was being abused", we checked, we renamed harrys second kid bc he was not happy with dumbledores
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29210733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy_little_trees3/pseuds/happy_little_trees3
Summary: In the movie version of Half-Blood Prince, Dumbledore says to Harry right before they leave on their Horcrux hunt that "Sometimes I look at you and I still see the boy in the cupboard." Harry doesn't react.Lets be honest-being told that your mentor knew you were being abused isn't something you just forget.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley (mentioned)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	The Boy in the Cupboard

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to the Hellbrain Central Discord server, we made a point and a one-shot came out of it after a half hour of writing. 
> 
> Seriously, you guys are great.
> 
> TW for cannon typical child abuse mentions, deaths, and trauma mentions. Nothing is described really, just mentioned.
> 
> Enjoy!

Harry dashed up the stairs to Dumbledore's office, clutching his Invisibility Cloak in his hands. He had just given the last of the Felix Felicis to Ron, and he prayed to any deities listening that none of his friends died tonight. Malfoy had finished his project for the Dark Lord, and it was only a matter of time until it all went to shit.

As he opened the door, he tried to reassure himself that the DA could handle it. They _could._ Harry had trained them well, and tonight wouldn’t end in bloodshed.

Hopefully the universe would let him hope, just this once. 

Dumbledore was still sitting in his chair, and stood when Harry entered. 

“Are you ready, my boy?”

Regardless of the danger they were walking into, there was still a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. Harry found an odd sort of comfort in that, relishing in the one constant he could always count on-Dumbledore's eyes defying physics and sparkling 24/7.

(Hermione never admitted it out loud, but Harry knew she was baffled by that too.)

Harry nodded, and Dumbledore walked around his desk holding an arm out to Harry. 

“Do not forget the cloak, Harry.”

He quickly went to put the cloak on, but paused when he saw Dumbledore giving him an odd look.

“Sir? Is something wrong?”

“"Sometimes I look at you and I still see the boy in the cupboard. You’ve grown up so much since then. I think your parents would be proud of you."

Dumbledore holds his arm out, expecting Harry to take it so they can retrieve the Horcrux. So they can beat Voldemort.

Harry just stares at him. There's blood pounding in his ears and he thinks Dumbledore says something else but all he can hear is one word, repeated on loop.

_Cupboard._

“You knew they put me in the cupboard?” he chokes out, barely a whisper. Dumbledore blinks, and seems to realize what he just said. 

“Harry-”

“You knew. All these years and you _knew.”_

His cloak has fallen to the ground. Harry feels like he's choking on something in his throat, but nothings there.

“Harry, you must understand. It was the only place you would be safe-”

“Safe? _Safe?!?_ I was safe enough at Grimmauld Place, and no one there tried to beat the shit out of me for breaking a _plate_!”

Dumbledore doesn’t react to what he says, and Harry feels his heart plummet. If Dumbledore knew about that than-

He knew about _everything._ He knew about Harry being starved, hit, and screamed at. He knew that Harry thought his name was Freak until he went to Primary School and Aunt Petunia had to train him out of it. He knew about the cupboard and the belts and the scars on his body and mind that were never going to go away.

He knew.

“Harry, we cannot be delayed any longer. I know you are upset-”

“Upset? _Upset?_ I’m more than _upset_ right now!” he screams, hearing something shatter. Emotions deep within him demand for destruction, and Harry wants to take it out on the office, on _Dumbledore_.

“You knew they were hurting me for years. And you did _nothing._ ”

“The Death Eaters could not touch you there Harry-”

“Vernon _could_ ! Neither of them either hurt me at Grimmauld, why couldn’t I have stayed there? With _Sirius?!?_ ”

“We could not guarantee-”

“It was safe enough to house the order, why not _me?!?_ ”

“ _We need to leave._ ”

Dumbledore looks tired. Harry fights back tears, and grabs the man's arm, not caring that he's gripping it too tight. If his friends weren’t in immediate danger, that conversation would have continued. Harry would have yelled, fought, and cried, wondering why the man he _trusted_ had knowingly left him with _monsters_. 

He never does get to find out.

Dumbledore dies that night by the wand of Severus Snape, already weakened by whatever was in that bowl in the cave filled with corpses. Harry doesn't run after him this time, he doesn't follow him to Hagrid's burning hut and try to fight him. 

He still tells Ron and Hermione about the Horcrux, and they find the note from R.A.B. They still sit there during the Will Reading and Harry wants to chuck the snitch across the room because he _doesn't want it,_ and Gryffindor's sword apparently wasn’t Dumbledore's to give away. 

Harry doesn’t give a fuck at this point.

Harry goes with Hermione and Ron to find the other Horcruxes, but not for Dumbledore. They do it for their friends and family who will _die,_ they do it for the Muggleborns and the elves and the so-called blood-traitors who will fight Voldemort to their last breath.

Not Dumbledore.

That entire year they’re on the run, Harry never stops wondering why he did it. Why Dumbledore just _left_ him there, even though they hurt him over and over and _over._

He doesn’t find out until after Ron leaves and returns, until after they break into the Ministry and Gringotts and Hogwarts. 

He doesn’t find out until Snape is dead, and the man looks so _angry._

Snape doesn’t say Harry had his mothers eyes.

“I’m sorry that old man only saw you as a chess piece,” are the dying words of Severus Snape, the Half-Blood Prince.

The Pensive shows Harry his mother and father. It shows Harry why Snape turned spy and when, and it shows him talking to Dumbledore about how this war has to end.

Harry doesn't think him having to die excuses what Dumbledore did.

He does it anyway. He walks into that forest, and Voldemort says that spell the same way he did seventeen years ago, but this time Lily Potter isn’t there to stop the curse.

Dumbledore is waiting in the to-clean Kings Cross again, as is the remnant of the Horcrux which cowers under a bench.

“I didn’t have to live with them to do this. I would have done it even if I had grown up with Sirius and Remus and the Wizarding World,” he says, not meeting the old man's eyes.

“I couldn’t guarantee that.”

“It doesn’t make it right.”

Harry leaves Kings Cross the way he came. Dumbledore's eyes aren't sparkling this time.

At the end of the day defeats Voldemort with _Expelliarmus._

Anti-climatic if you ask him.

After Remus and Fred and all the others are buried, Harry doesn’t know what to do with himself. At one point, Hermione drags him to St. Mungos and makes him go into therapy. 

Therapy, he learns, is great for a lot of things. Like finally being able to say the words _they abused me_ after seventeen years. He couldn’t before.

Therapy also teaches him that he can’t ever really understand why Dumbledore thought what he did was right. No one can. His therapist says that quite a few times before it ever sinks in, and Harry doesn’t think he’ll ever know how to feel about it.

When Harry and Ginny have kids, their names are James Sirius, Lily Luna, and Gideon Neville Potter. 

(Neville absolutely cried when Harry told him one of his children was named after him.)

Harry forgives a lot of people after the war, Draco Malfoy included.

He's ok with the fact that Albus Dumbledore is not one of them in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Fight me on tumblr @happylittletrees3


End file.
